Putting acid on my face, a report!

21 September 2017 16:23
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[personal profile] cupcake_goth
I have now used the 30% glycolic acid peel twice. I'm also using 5% glycolic acid cleaning wipes on my face every night, because that's what a lot of the skin care forums recommended. And doing the usual stuff: really good, soothing moisturizer every night (Bee Friendly, yes, really), and wearing sunblock every day.

I have noticed an improvement in my skin. The texture is smoother, and the brown spots from hormone wackiness are definitely lightening. They're not GONE (yet), but they don't jump out at me whenever I see myself in a mirror.

(I know, I know, probably no one else noticed them.)

So! Putting acid on your face! I totally recommend it!

(no subject)

19 September 2017 22:57
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[personal profile] cupcake_goth
Cartomancy: be patient, you’ll be happy? UGH I HATE BEING PATIENT.



Halloween Tarot: Nine of Bats (Nine of Cups).



Vintage Wisdom Oracle: Patience.

RIP Steve Your Asshole Buddy

19 September 2017 21:35
kingrat: (MacCauley)
[personal profile] kingrat
 This spring, I decided I was finally ready for a cat in the house again, five years after Guinevere died. She was in the neighborhood of 18-21 years old, depending on which estimate from the Humane Society I believed. I had her for 13 years.

It took me three visits to PAWS in the U District to find a cat who fit the bill: no major personalities issues, relatively friendly short hair. He loved being petted and skritched while I was there. So I adopted him.

Got him home. He immediately hid. After a month being moved around foster places and shelters, so I figured he might take a few days to get accustomed to my apartment. He never did. He pretty much only came out at night and when the Roomba vacuumed his hiding spot under the couch. He'd freak out a bit then, but would let me hold him and would calm down after about 15 minutes. But once I set him down he immediately went back to hiding.

I named him Steve Your Asshole Buddy because he yowled a lot at night.

I posted about him a few times to a private filter on Facebook, figuring once he got more comfortable I'd start posting pictures and whatnot more publicly.

That never happened. Thursday night he freaked out, came out from under the couch, but still wouldn't let me near him. Dragged his left hind leg, and had a bunch of other symptoms I don't want to go into because I don't want to write about an animal in distress.

Heather came over and helped me corral him into a carrier, then took me to an emergency vet. They diagnosed him with a heart condition and he died.

 
I'm a little sad this didn't work out, but I didn't have Steve long enough to hit me super hard.  I have a couple of trips coming up, so it doesn't make sense to adopt again until the traveling is done.  Soon though.

(no subject)

18 September 2017 22:56
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[personal profile] cupcake_goth
Miss Erzabet No Biting is so serious about cartomancy. So. Serious. You have no notion.



Halloween Tarot: Six of Imps (Six of Wands).



Vintage Wisdom Oracle: Discernment.

Witchy life

18 September 2017 18:12
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[personal profile] cupcake_goth
(Those of you not into magic or witchcraft, feel free to scroll by.)

As you may remember, I spent a not inconsequential bit of the past two weeks having bad nightmares and generally feeling really off-kilter. It felt like there was some sort of sharp, abrasive quality to the air. I am legendarily bad at creating or maintaining wards, so I texted my big brother and let him know I needed him in his role as magical tech support. He came over Friday evening.

"The energy in here feels like static. Really bad static", says he, proceeds to do the whole Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram (something I have never managed to completely memorize, but I'm working on it*), then reset the house wards. I stand by and join him in doing this each time, but I always need him to take the lead on it. The weird, abrasive quality went away, and it felt like after a thunderstorm. Inside the house. Yeah, it's a thing.

Today, I finally managed to go do what I'd been intending to do since last week: go to the neighborhood park that includes a beach for Puget Sound. I waded out into the (cold, so cold!) water, stood there for a few minutes, collected some water in a bottle, then came back out and collected sand in a small jar. Both of those things are now sitting on my altar.






* The only part of the LBRP I'm good at remembering is calling on the Archangels, and that is entirely because Kate Bush actually included a version of that in her song Lily. Again, if I'm learning a melody and lyrics, I will remember it forever.

dealing with other generations

18 September 2017 12:33
sistawendy: (drama)
[personal profile] sistawendy
Bad: Dr. Kidshrink is moving to Hawaii next month.

Good: He'll do at least a few sessions with m'boy via Skype.

Bad: Mom apparently has had fraudulent activity on her credit cards, enough to max them out. That's likely due to Mom's giving out her personal information exactly as Good Sister told her repeatedly not to.

Worse: Mom tried to cancel the cards instead of just reporting the fraudulent activity, so of course the credit card issuer shunted her to someone who tried to talk her out of it. In other words, not only is Mom's addled pate getting her into more financial messes; it no longer helps her get out of them.

I missed the usual Sunday morning call time because I was brunching with the Tickler, for which I now feel a tiny bit guilty. I haven't talked to her since what, Friday? Mom, like much of Florida, still has no internet because of the hurricane, so she hasn't been emailing me every morning as usual. GS & I shared a dark laugh that Mom's coming unplugged isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I'm less cranky now about GS dragging me to Florida in January. Watching out for Mom from DC is no mean feat, and she's been doing it for a few years now. She's earned some slack from me, I think.

Where's Evil Sister in all this? Her name hasn't come up. I guess she's in San Antonio, TX, and that's all I know.
sistawendy: (weirded out)
[personal profile] sistawendy
A little over seven years ago, I posted a poll in an attempt to learn something about relative breast size vs. hand preference. My conclusion was that which of your boobs is larger doesn't correlate to hand preference, but asymmetry in general just might.

But the original study isn't quite what this entry is about. A few of you breast owners told me then that breasts are changeable creatures, and which one of yours is larger can be influenced by lots of factors. In other words, boobs happen. I've finally experienced this in the last few months: my left one used to be bigger, and now my right one seems to be.

I haven't changed my hormone dose since around the time I posted the poll. I've been eating & exercising the same for years. Could this be a breast explosion like the ones some of my cisgender friends report undergoing in their teens? I don't think so, but if I find myself in need of 38D (!) bras a few months hence, that'll will be a) scientifically interesting, b) rare as hens' teeth because yo, trans, and c) not unwelcome because a 38" chest makes even reasonaboobs look small.

(no subject)

17 September 2017 21:25
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[personal profile] cupcake_goth
Let's see: I didn't do any cartomancy last night, because I spent all day yesterday down with a really horrible sinus migraine that may have had a light dusting of eye strain. I say this because my sinus migraines don't usually have light sensitivity and mild vertigo, so something else had to have been going on.

(BUT THE CLUSTER TENSION MIGRAINES HAVEN'T COME BACK! ALMOST THREE MONTHS WITHOUT THEM! MY DENTIST IS AMAZING AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.)

Anyway, yeah, horrible migraine. To the point where I just gave in and spent most of the day in bed, listening to Disintegration (which is the best album by The Cure, I will fight you on this) over and over. Which meant that my hopes of Saturday involving going to the spa, then making up a few hours of dayjob work that needed to happen went away.

Today there was also supposed to be a trip to the spa with some friends, but when we got there, the spa was at capacity and turning people away. Well, offering to take people's phone numbers and call them when there was room, but it works out the same. I have never had that happen, but then, I don't go to the spa during the day on weekends. After 7pm and staying until closing, yep! Going in the afternoon during the week, sure! (Working from home is awesome.) But apparently weekends are insane there.

Instead I hung out with friends (not at the spa), and catching up on things. Then I came home, made dinner, edited, built, and uploaded a lot of content for work, and removed a layer of skin on my face with a mild acid. You know, usual Sunday evening things.

More wittering about perfume

15 September 2017 23:11
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[personal profile] cupcake_goth
Pulling up my review of Blood Popsicle reminded me of a post I made on Tumblr last year. So here: my thoughts on the scents of colors of velvet.

- Black velvet: An inky sharpness over the scent of dusty, antique books. There’s a hint of beeswax and a winter sky at night in there, too.

- Red velvet: The tartness of raspberries, the golden glow of amber, and honey mixed with salt. The darker the red, the stronger the honey.

- Purple velvet: Gunpowder tea, sweetened with vanilla sugar, being sipped in a secluded garden.

- Green velvet: A warm summer night, full of night-blooming flowers, and the scent of crushed moss.

- Blue velvet: Blackberries and creme brulee, served on a tarnished silver platter.

(no subject)

15 September 2017 22:46
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[personal profile] cupcake_goth
Cartomancy: mixed messages? Maybe? Wait, probably not. It really does boil down to PAY ATTENTION, JILLIAN.



Halloween Tarot: The Devil



Vintage Wisdom Oracle: Perception

Zzzzzz...

15 September 2017 09:10
sistawendy: (oh yeah)
[personal profile] sistawendy
I've started sleeping better lately. I put it down to one of two things:
  1. Lower temperatures. I'm not sure about this because I still wake up sweaty sometimes.
  2. Less light hitting my eyeballs. Here above 47°N the annual swings in day length are dramatic compared to, for example, Florida. I've tried to compensate for that for years by putting black foam board in my bedroom window, but I can still see light around the edge. I did get a leather mask (ahem) at the Pride street fair, but I only recently got around to altering it so that it's comfortable enough to sleep in. By the way, the selling point for the mask was that it's unlined and therefore easier to clean. Made by Asylum Leathers.

(no subject)

14 September 2017 22:33
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[personal profile] cupcake_goth
Cartomancy: trust your intuition, or perhaps realize you might know some werewolves.



Halloween Tarot: The Moon.



Vintage Wisdom Oracle: Purity.

Wittering about perfume

14 September 2017 10:47
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[personal profile] cupcake_goth
A post by [personal profile] graveyardrabbit reminded me I wanted to post about perfume!

As some of you probably know, BPAL makes pretty much all of the scents I wear, with one exception from LUSH, Lord of Misrule. (Patchouli, vanilla, and black pepper.)

From BPAL, I generally wear the (limited edition, long out-of-stock) Blood Popsicle, inspired by the movie Only Lovers Left Alive. Their description is "The scent of frozen Type O Negative". My description, from the review on the Gothic Charm School site: “The good stuff”. Honey and amber and salt, wrapped in blood-red velvet. The perfume version of a shiver of delight." I LOVE this scent, and am very glad I stocked up before it went away.

I *thought* that Blood Popsicle was going to be the only scent I wore, forever and ever, world without end, but then BPAL went and collaborated with one of my favorite jewelry designers, Bloodmilk. Enter Owl Moon (dark, rooty, sweet patchouli swirled with honey), and Silky Bat (sugared patchouli).

(Hi, my name is Jilli, and I have a patchouli problem.)

But! But! I was noodling around Etsy, looking through scents named or described as Hecate, when I found House of Orpheus. I'd heard good things about them being an especially witchy/magic -focused scent maker, and then I found their Amunet perfume:

Amunet is a natural perfume by house of Orpheus. A classical Oud, made with spicy notes of cassia, black storax extrait, agar wood oil, and made with an antique Egyptian paste of civet and musk. Amunet is exalted with the lunar oils of silver and the alchemical oil of distilled scorpions. Because this perfume is made with antique ingredients it will be limited in quantity. Once it is gone it will be gone forever.

Amunet is the hidden one, the high priestess, a tattooed goddess in human form. A dark feminine divinity, associated with witchcraft and feminine powers of creation and destruction. To wear this perfume is to embody that which is the high priestess in the major arcana of a dark and beautiful tarot deck. As the mysteries of the feminine are also the mysteries of blood the perfume is the color and thickness of blood…
A talismanic perfume for women who embody the divine feminine with authority and perpetuate its mysteries no mater the cost.


Well then. It doesn't have patchouli, but it absolutely sounds like something I should have. I am impatiently waiting for my order to arrive.

Sleep, and boots.

13 September 2017 16:53
cupcake_goth: (Default)
[personal profile] cupcake_goth
Last night was the first night in about a week where I slept soundly and didn't have any nightmares. Now let's see if I can repeat that trick for a VERY LONG TIME, THANKS.

---

Remember those lace-up Olde Skool winklepicker boots I was dithering over? You know, these ones? I contacted the company, and they have RED LEATHER. They can make those boots in RED LEATHER.

:: cackles delightedly ::

No, it's not the burgundy or oxblood leather of my fondest wishes, but red leather will be SO much simpler to dye if I decide I need them darker. (My favorite cobbler is used to such wacky requests from me.) Red leather gothy witchy boots will be mine, yessssss.

---

I am having a small bout of impostor syndrome with the dayjob at the moment, but I'm pretty sure that it's mostly due to the amazingly poor sleep I've been having lately. Well, that and the fact that oh hey there's a technical preview deadline coming up in a smidge over three weeks. But! It's a super-limited technical preview, and it's not just me working on the documentation! I mean, sure, the documentation will still be still be hellaciously rough and full of "coming soon" areas, but eh. I am far less freaked out about this than I was about the same situation last year.

(no subject)

12 September 2017 22:09
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[personal profile] cupcake_goth
Cartomancy: optimism and someplace peaceful? Maybe?



Halloween Tarot: Six of Imps (Six of Wands).



Vintage Wisdom Oracle: Sanctuary.

my city and my people

12 September 2017 09:16
sistawendy: (contemplative red)
[personal profile] sistawendy
Twenty-eight years ago today I rolled into Seattle for the first time. How different was the city then? The Boeing bust of the '70s was still fresh in everyone's memory, and the end of Boeing's dominance over the city's economy was just appearing on the horizon. Microsoft had moved to Redmond a scant four years earlier. Capitol Hill, my spiritual home and the then-new gayborhood, may have still had some light industry still in the neighborhood. Seattle had affordable housing, a bus system it was proud of that seemed to meet mass transit needs, and grunge in every sense. Not much later if at all it also had a Queer Patrol out of necessity, a notorious heroin economy with visible impact - see "grunge" - and not much going on work-wise for any techies who, like me, disdained Microsoft*.

I miss the fun, the funk, and the low-budget DIY spirit of Seattle then, but I was often too preoccupied to take advantage of it until this century: school, relationships, work, trying to be a straight dude. Is that gone, drowned in tech money, never to return? I don't think it's gone completely, and it can be saved. If we can save ourselves from going the way of Detroit, we can save ourselves from going the way of San Francisco.

On an unrelated note, attendance for last night's trans group at Lambert House smashed the previous record. I filled up an attendance sheet and mostly emptied the downstairs. Attendance had been so poor early this summer that the volunteer coordinator expressed concern about it to me and my fellow facilitators. The only even partial explanation I have for this is that the school year just started, so everyone's back from vacation and perhaps jonesing for some queer contact after being exposed to their families more than usual, but this is nothing like past years.



*Yeah, 19 years later I ended up working for the bastids, but that was partly to obtain meds to keep my then-wife ambulatory.

(no subject)

11 September 2017 21:57
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[personal profile] cupcake_goth
Cartomancy, a return to.



Halloween tarot: Knight of Bats (Knight of Swords).



Vintage Wisdom Oracle: Gratitude.

Hi, my name is Jilli, and I need to get back to doing things that help me feel balanced and perceptive. Which means more cartomancy and spellcraft.

Reeeeallllly tired of this

11 September 2017 17:28
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[personal profile] cupcake_goth
More nightmares last night, including a really emotionally awful one right before the alarm went off. Did you know that if you have a sobbing, hysterical meltdown in a dream, you get the same emotional hangover as if you'd had one in real life? Fun times, fun times. I felt so off-kilter when I got up that I had to have Clovis Devilbunny sit at my desk all day, and my musical selection promptly got derailed to the bandom playlist. I am seriously considering spending this evening rereading my current favorite multi-part bandom fic, which is ... look, it is seriously creepy, unsettling, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless they are okay with Really Dark Fic, full of Things Not To Be Condoned In Real Life. I think it's all sorts of cracked-out fun, but I am also a lifelong fan of unsettling horror fiction, so I admit my tastes are not for everyone. But, yeah. I think I am going to reread cultverse tonight.

(Oh man, I think I need to reread Bandpires again soon, too, because that is one of my absolute favorites, and I find it very soothing in times of stress.)

Speaking of things to read, while link-hopping around today, I found out someone wrote some sort of fic for Kim Newman's Anno Dracula series, but it's apparently vanished from the interwebs. I'm cranky about this, because the idea of Tim Burton: Anno Dracula is just delightful. (Note To Self: Check the wayback machine!)

Update: My mom has not blown away.

11 September 2017 07:38
sistawendy: (oh yeah)
[personal profile] sistawendy
I didn't get the usual email from Mom this morning, so I called her. Sure enough, she's lost her internet connection, and the wind has picked up. However, she still has power and there's no damage to her house. She got help moving her porch & patio furniture indoors. There used to be a whole bunch of pine trees on her lot, but she got the last of those removed a few years back, thank goodness. The eye wall should be making its closest approach to Gainesville right about now.
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